God’s chosen one quits


The Pope, who, according to Catholic doctrine is not only chosen by God, but also infallible and incapable of error, today gave word that he is resigning this month. As reasons he gave both his old age and the rapid changes in the world shaking the Catholic faith. Yes, in his speech he actually used the word “shaken”. He also revealed that he has thoroughly discussed the matter in conversations with God Almighty, Creator of the Universe. Naturally.

As a service to our readers we’d like to celebrate this rare occasion by offering some excellent memorabilia of the Pope’s career.

First, this little summary of the fine accomplishments of the Vicar of Christ on earth:


And here’s how the ceremony looks like when a next Pope is installed, slightly edited. I dare you not to laugh:


Here’s a little something that Christopher Hitchens wrote about him: The pope’s entire career has the stench of evil about it.

Tim Minchin’s ode to the man: “Fuck the motherfucking Pope”.


And finally, do yourself a favor and save this one for a thoroughly enjoyable evening. You will not regret it. Bring popcorn.

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