If you’re a Catholic in New York and have a gay friend that is getting married, listen up. Timothy M. Dolan, Most Reverend Archbishop of New York, has issued the following law that applies to you, effective immediately:
You are forbidden to take part in or support your friend’s marriage. You are forbidden to offer him congratulations or presents. Also, you are forbidden to being happy for your friend.
Because God hates fags. We can trust the Most Reverend Archbishop to know God’s opinion on this matter because the Most Reverend Archbishop once heard a voice in his head that said “Hello, this is God speaking. I agree with your random superstitious opinion of hate and hereby grant you the right to treat millions of people like shit.”
From Unicorn Booty:
If Timothy Dolan can’t even dress himself without looking like this, what qualifies him to judge millions of people?
Dolan, on behalf of the Catholic Church, forbids Catholics from even being happy for their newly married gay friends or offering congratulations. Failure to comply with this perversion of law from their all-knowing, all-loving god that hates some of the things he lovingly created in his own image will result in canonical sanctions – a fancy way of saying priest court.