How did the Jew cross the street?

Thanks to modern technology, Jews can now avoid modern technology when crossing the street. Such as pressing the button for green light.

From Haaretz:

The staff at Transport for London, the company responsible for maintaining London’s main roads, reportedly decided to include the automatic crossings after religious leaders at Finchley United Synagogue explained the challenges faced by congregants attempting to cross the road.

According to Judaism, God very much dislikes the use of technology on Saturdays. If you do, the punishment is death. Naturally.

If you’re an observing Jew, there are 39 types of specific actions that you must never do on the Sabbath (Friday night to Saturday night), such as using electricity, driving a car, pushing buttons, lighting a fire, planting, plowing, tying a knot, untying a knot, and so on.


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2 Responses to How did the Jew cross the street?

  1. K. Mapson says:

    Fully accounted for by the theological theory of Pandeism, which holds that all theological beliefs are simply manifestations of an underlying unconscious and nonintervening Creator which has become the Creation itself to experience existence through the lives of such beings who will come about in accordance with the complexity-promoting physics built into our Universe. Blessings!!

    • RP says:

      Pandeism is stupid. Explains nothing. You might as well be an animist if that rocks your boat. Atheism is a far simpler belief: disbelief in gods or creators until we see evidence to take it seriously.

      You know what? I just invented a new religion. Universes are constantly being farted out by celestial rainbow-coloured elephants, therefore I get to wear a silly hat and you should give me all your money. According to the pandeistic theory ebove this is equally valid to any other religion. Wonderful news, salvation is near!

      By the way. Not only is pandeism unnecessary. All theology is unnecessary. Explains nothing. Helps nothing. The only effect is that it encourages belief in the supernatural, encourages subjugation to authorities and their arbitrary rules about how we should live our lives.

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